Some Great Stories

If you wanna know what the founder of this old Tumblr site is doing, head over to that link up top. (He’s a writer with a lot of fun stories on TV shows, movies, comedy and politics). Updated daily. It’ll be a fun distraction from work!

Conniving Whore

she quit taking her birth control without telling me, and now we’re parents.

also she makes shitty sandwiches.

C’mon

We need some funny entries! For a special project we’re working on! Help us out! Funny entries only! :)

Called me an “ugly fat ho ass bitch” even though he, literally, looks like the blue eagle from the Muppets. Also, he’s 21 and balding. And to think I was going to marry that…

the first week we were dating, we were texting. my phone died during the middle of it. in the time it took for me to go plug it in, he had sent me 3 texts and 3 facebook messages asking me what he had done wrong and why i wasnt talking to him.

oh yeah, and he broke up with me via text while i was across the country in the hospital with my grandmother.

::SIGH::

1. Thanks for the herpes!

2. Thanks for calling me to see if I was okay after I had blisters so bad I had to lie on my side.

3. Thanks for not giving me a birthday gift two years in a row

4. Thanks for never making time to see me and choosing work over seeing me EVERY time

5. Thanks for breaking up with me through Facebook, real class act

6 But really, thanks for finally getting out of my life you don’t deserve me